The Dentist Says I Have Tartar

The dentist told me I have Tartar.

Vasty Tartar Back

There’s not usually much to say in a dentist’s chair, and it’s a good place to try to remember Shakespeare. I know he wasn’t referring to this Tartar, but it did make me think of the line “he might return to vasty Tartar back” from Henry V, Act II, Scene II.

In this scene, Henry V learned that fellow English lords had been paid by France to kill him in Hampton before Henry and his men made effort to sail to France and fight for Henry’s claim to French throne. Henry condemns three men, one them Henry Scrope, 3rd Baron Scrope of Masham, or Lord Scroop. Lord Scroop, who, Henry said, “knew’st me the very bottom of my soul, that almost mightst have coined me into gold,” seem to have been to have been taken by a devil that “gull’d thee” who should then “with his lion gait walk the whole world, He might return to vasty Tartar back, And tell the legions ‘I can never win A soul so easy as that Englishman’s.’

Returning to vasty Tartar, I ways understood it, meant returning to vast expanse of land stretching to Siberia to China – an area hardly reachable in Shakespeare’s time. It also means, according to SharespeareWords, and a Google search, Tartarus, the underworld place of confinement for those who incurred the wrath of the gods.

I know that’s not what the dentist was referring to, but that whole monologue from Henry V, Act II, Scene II crossed my mind, and has been in my mind for years.

Steak Tartare

I know the dentist wasn’t referring to Steak Tartare. It crossed my mind in the dentist chair. Now I have the liberty of my internet, and I can look up steak tartare. It has an interesting history for something as unexciting as ground beef, some tartare sauce, and other things that add flavor.

This isn’t what the dentist was talking about when he said I had tartar, but it is something with tartar with a different spelling.

Tartar (hardened plaque)

Tartar is apparently hardened dental plaque. I brush my teeth and I’m convinced my dentist has a contract with the electric toothbrushes and dental picks because I have both at his suggestion.

He could have told me that I have hardened plaque and that the only to remove is to see him on a regular basis. I’m also convinced he ha a contract with the x-ray machine company, and I don’t think it’s good that the price of a visit increases every time they want to use the x-ray machine to see if (among other things) the plaque has turned into tartar.

Perhaps I just miss the family dentist I had growing up who was a friend of the family and I felt like I was visiting a friend.